Honesty is not an Option.

Often times in an relationship one party thinks it better for the other party not to know the whole story.  They somehow think that taking away someone's option to make an informed decision for themselves will actually keep life easier and make things better.

Neglecting to tell your mate that your home is in foreclosure, that the lights are about to get cut off, the cars are about to get repossessed is lying. Neglecting to tell your mate that you're cheating on them is lying.  A half truth is lying and omission of the truth is lying, period. I have been guilty of withholding information from my husband. And trust me when the truth came out (and it always does) the results are never pretty. Because now you have more damage control than you could have ever imagined. A wound that could have been covered with a band-aid now needs stitches to stop the bleeding.

In withholding information you are taking away that persons options, you are making that decision for them and, that's not fair.

Your relationship is not going to work with secrets, half truths and lies. If you are spending the bulk of your time trying to cover something up, or wondering if you are going to get caught you are truly not enjoying your relationship. Plus once that person finds out there might be hell to pay.

So, whatever you're hiding from a loved one, let it out. You are hurting someone worse by withholding the truth. I think a lot of times people don't tell the truth is not because of the fear of hurting the other person but the fear of the other persons reaction off of the information or the fact that they don't respect that individual or their abilities.

Stop, trying to determine the course of someone else's life. Demand more from yourself as a human being. Stop reasoning with yourself why withholding this information is a good thing.

If someone is withholding information from you and you know it, stop living and acting like nothing is going on. Call them on their mess. Stop waiting for them to tell you, they're NOT. They are thinking when everything gets better and they have fixed the mess then they'll tell you, then you'll only get half the story.  Stop letting someone else control your destiny by allowing them to drag you in their crap.

Ladies, stop allowing your mates to lie and half truth you all the way to financial ruin or loneliness. Men, stop allowing the same. Become an active partner in your relationship, although your spouses strength might be the finances you'd better be viewing the books just to make sure the numbers are making sense.

Although, this post was mainly about finances, honesty in a relationship is a non-negotiable across the board item.  So it applies to everything.

Be honest, life will be so much easier.

Until Next Time,
Peace, Love & Charm

Charmaine

*This post inspired by Super Woman Productions and Publishing  post "Why Do Dogs Lick Themselves"*

"If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gone love somebody else" ~ RuPaul

Realizations and Realities

This weekend I had a difficult time being Charmaine.  Here's what I mean. I went to a business event and I had become that person that is showing pictures of her children and talking about family life.  I had forgotten how to truly network and be about my business.

Driving there I felt bad about leaving the kids with their loving over qualified father. While there I felt guilty about having a good time. While leaving I felt guilty because I was not home for one of my sons seizures. I'm just a mess.

Then I came home only to have to go back out to the grocery store. Came back made dinner and left again.

Not once did I take a kid. I had a full day of adult interaction and conversation and I did'nt know how to act. I felt weird being out without my husband or kids and not be at the grocery store or Target. I felt guilty how dare I have a good time.

But Saturday made me realize a few things.

1.  I need to get out of the house at least once a month to network. Not just with women either, because I've lost my edge. And that pisses me off.

2. I need to continue this trend of my children helping me around the house. Meal time went so much faster because my daughter was my assistant. Plus she likes to feel needed (well sometimes lol).

3. I need to start reading non children's books again to step up my business game.

4  I need to organize my life. I waste too much time.

There is more but I gotta go to bed. Goals for this week complete Vision Board and Goal list. Because I need to focus on me. 

Slowly I'm figuring this thing out. Happy me happy family. This weekend proved it.

Homework lesson: if there is no you time carved into your life, then whose life are you living?  Make time for yourself, remember your mental health and happiness is paramount to your families success.

Peace, Love, & Charm
Charmaine Fuller