Who are you?

Hey lady, yea you.. "Who are you?"

A few weeks ago I was super frustrated with life. I had made some bad choice for my family and it forced me to view my life honestly. I was pissed, pissed because I had devoted ALL of my time and energy to my children and felt as if I hadn't gotten anything in return, pissed because my husband got to go off to work and I had to stay here with the kids and  pissed because everyday of my life felt like the movie "Groundhog Day". I felt trapped. Then I realized I feel like this because of decisions that I have made, no one made them for me.  I looked at my identity and I realized my identity was being the mom to 3 wife to 1. I then thought of a friend of mine who had done the same thing, her entire life had been wrapped around her husband and kids, forsaking her own identity. She was never truly happy just going along with life, when the bottom dropped it took her so long to recover mentally. Now that she is living for herself making sure she is happy and whole her children are happier and life flows better.

At that moment a few weeks ago I thought: "If my husband where to leave and  left me and my kids with nothing hell what if there was a freak accident and he died?" "what am I going to do when my kids enter high school and college and no longer need me?" What would have to keep me busy and help me to survive" I had nothing. They were my everything all bets where hedged on them.  So I had to develop a "Plan B" I used to have one but life happens and we often get comfortable. One day my kids will leave one day it will just be me and my husband and although he'll have something to do I wouldn't. So I had to fix that.

Although it is still a work in progress, I try to get out at least once a week without kids. Ladies it is not impossible. Depending on your situation it might be difficult. If you can't do once a week try once a month. Find a college student or dependable family member, take your laptop go into to some place with Wi-Fi and veg out. Or take a yoga class or take a walk. Do something, that doesn't include your family. I'm trying to work up to a weekend girls getaway (pray for me) that's down the line, way down the line. As for some reason I feel guilty about leaving my children with their capable and over qualified father :-)

I have dug more into my passion and making my business work. Realizing that for me not making my own money bothers me. Solely depending on someone else makes me nervous, iv'e been working since 14 so this SAHM (stay at home mom) thing is new.

Helping others is a passion, that's why I started this blog. I figured I might help someone I might not. This blog may not be more than a release for me and helping me to realize myself and better my relationships in the process.

So this weeks homework is:
"Find out who you are" take some time, make some time to meditate and find you. Set up a vision board and goals not only for your family but for you.  Please share how it has worked for you as what you say may help someone else.

"If you can't love yourself, how in the Hell you gone love somebody else" RuPaul

Until Next Time,
Peace, Love & Charm
Charmaine